Why Do They Call it Customer SERVICE, DAGNABIT!?

I’m tired of nothing working right! Everything fails to function properly. The whole damn world is a disaster. Take the “customer service” phone operations we all have to call now and then. Back in the day we got to talk to real people. These days you get that “please press one…” “please press two…” phone by numbers nonsense.

I have a suggestion. When you get one of these phone by numbers things on the line, the first thing you should hear is this:

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SCREAM BLOODY MURDER AT A SUPERVISOR, PLEASE PRESS ONE…”

That’s where your call is going anyway! They might as well make it easy and take you there first thing.

Being a progressive and believing that immigration is a great strength of this country I’m all for bilingual operators.

ALL I ASK IS THAT ONE OF THE LANGUAGES BILINGUAL OPERATORS SPEAK IS ENGLISH!

So far as I know there are still a few of us around that speak that quaint old fashioned tongue here in the US of A.

Every time I call one of these phone by numbers operations, I offer both the above as suggestions for how they could make their service better. YOU should too!

Even when you do business in person it ain’t always easy. For example, store clerks: PLEASE TAKE THE GAHDAMNED HEADPHONES OFF WHILE WORKING.

When I order my deep fried lard on a transfat wrap, extra mayo, I don’t wanna to go through this anymore:

ClapSo: I’ll take the number three

Clerk: WHAT?

ClapSo: I’LL TAKE THE NUMBER THREE

Clerk: WHAT?

ClapSo: TAKE THE GAHDAMN HEADPHONES OFF!

Clerk removes headphones

ClapSo: Can you hear me NOW?

Store Clerk: yes

ClapSo: THAT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT WEARING THE GAHDAMN HEADPHONE ANYMORE!

Store Clerk: no need to shout sir…

I realize that SOME of the problem is that people like those above GET PAID LIKE SHIT AND HAVE NO REAL BENEFITS. That they work for scumbag corporations that cheat all of us. But still, I just want to be able to do whatever business need be done and get on with my miserable day. SONOFABUSH!

MOST of the problem is OUR OWN FAULT. We have become sheep being brought to the political and economic slaughter. Very few of us RESIST AND REFUSE anymore. Most of us sit in front of our wide screen TV’S chowing down on salted snack foods and beer. WE DO NOTHING TO MAKE CHANGE AS OUR POLITICAL ECONOMY FALLS INTO COMPLETE CHAOS. Those few of us that realize who the enemy is, know we must fight on both fronts. We understand that it is the conspiracy of the two parties of the apocalypse and the corpoRATeers that has brought our country to it’s present sorry state.

YOU MUST WAKE UP! YOU KNOW, EVEN IF ONLY AS AN UNCOMFORTABLE FEELING IN YOUR GUT, that things have gone wrong and are getting WORSE! YOU know and understand that change need be made. DON’T BE FOOLED AGAIN! Voting for any of the three stooges of the apocalypse will only change the idiot face in the oval office. The policies of both the dirty dems and filthy repubs ARE THE SAME!

the party of the jackass = the party of the syphilitic pachyderm!

They are different in name only. Every four years, the bullshit industry claims that the reason half the registered voters don’t bother to vote, is because they are SATISFIED WITH HOW THE COUNTRY IS BEING RUN!

I think that the reason half the registered voters don’t bother to vote is because they see NO REAL DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE STANDARD SUBSTANDARD CANDIDATES OFFERED BY THE TWO PARTIES OF THE APOCALYPSE! Thus:

al bore = bush = karry = mcPain= clinton = obama!

THERE IS ONLY ONE CANDIDATE RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT in 2008 THAT TRULY EQUALS CHANGE!

VOTENADER.ORG

The Telepathic Crickets and I would like to take a moment to apologize to our dear friend DAGNABIT. In the excitement of finding such new friends as SONOFABUSH and Pork Barrel Pot Pie, DAGNABIT has been getting too little play here abouts. We shall endeavor to remedy this situation in this and future posts.

The scientifically impossible I do right away

The spiritually miraculous takes a bit longer

~ by ClapSo on April 21, 2008.

One Response to “Why Do They Call it Customer SERVICE, DAGNABIT!?”

  1. You forgot to mention when Ralp is visiting. chirp chirp

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