ClapSo’s Helpful Household Tip #1
As reported earlier in this blog. The Telepathic Crickets™ and I have moved into a new HQ. We required a bit of funding to make our new digs happen, and since blogging don’t pay too well we had to get it from a “not for profit” agency. The one we found that would fund us did a real good job, until we got to the point in the process where we received a “case manager.” For those that have never had a case manager, you can find one on the chart below. They are the littlest one on the left:
We also required some furniture for our HQ. This required another agency and of course yet another “case manager.” That has brought our case manager total to a grand sum of two and that being two more then any poor soul ever should be inflicted with we are at wits end around here. The first thing I noticed about both my case managers is neither one of them have any discernible job skills. That’s right they are completely skill free, just like me. Unfortunately, they are not quite ClapSoesque in that they don’t make their lack of any real job skills charming, as I do. As alternative careers I believe that case managers would make great senators on the take (yes I realize that is redundant) or pimps.
I promised a helpful hint in the title of this post. Here it is:
NEVER ALLOW A “CASE MANAGER” TO SHOP FOR ANYTHING, ESPECIALLY FURNITURE! THEY WILL BUY YOU STUFF IN BOXES MARKED WITH THE FOLLOWING DIRE WARNING:
“SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED”
I have spent the better part of the last week trying to figure out how to put my “case manager” purchased couch together. I have settled on plan B. I have stuffed all three thousand unrecognizable parts back in the box they came in and am now sitting on the damn box! It’s quite comfy really…
The main reason case managers are totally useless is due to the fact that they are “supervised”, and I use the term loosely, by “executive directors” who work under a set of “program directives” that seem to be made up on the spot as they go along. There is only a single guiding principle related to these “program directives.” That is:
If it’s useless, annoying, stupid, and a complete waste of time and resources, it’s a “program directive.”
It should also be noted that if one takes a “job” as a “case manager” and fails at it, one is then promoted to “executive director.”
One of the many time wasting techniques used by case managers is called the “home visit.” The knuckle dragging twits come to your HQ and make complete pests of themselves. Today marks the ninth time in a month that we are havin’ one of these blessed events…
The Telepathic Crickets™ and I have been laying sand bags and stocking up on ammunition in preparation for the “case manager’s” latest home invasion! WE WILL NOT SURRENDER!
The scientifically impossible I do right away
The spiritually miraculous takes a bit longer