obamessiah’s corpoRATe exec “pay cap” pr stunt and sen. clodd brings back enron accounting principles

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Well Cricketeers, I received a few taunting emails from klinton klan kool aid drinkers and other obamessiah true believers concerning the corpoRATe exec “pay limits”. It’s a toothless tiger kids, WAKE THE HELL UP! This from cnnpolitics:

Commentary: Penalties absent from new pay cap rules

Campbell Brown, CNN

(CNN) — All this week, we’re focusing on President Obama’s promise of transparency and accountability and to that end, we applaud his announcement today of a pay cap for corporate CEO’s taking bailout money.

But what we didn’t hear anything about today — as the president, Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner, and Press Secretary Robert Gibbs praised the virtues of the new rules — was talk of penalties. Real penalties for those who have mishandled the money and betrayed our trust. Penalties for those who may mishandle our money in the future.

Here’s the video the above exerpt comes from:

SONOFABUSH! This so called “pay cap” is allowing the dishonorable corpoRATeer PIGS to be on the honor system AGAIN. What happens if they ignore this “pay cap”? NOTHING. This is another case of the criminals who CRASHED THE WORLD ECONOMY being let off with finger wagging and a stern talkin’ to. This is clearly not enough! These corpoRATe bastards can’t be trusted! This “pay cap” is simply another of obamessiah’s loose change poetics. It is completely lacking in any real musicality. It rings hollow in a minor key, when we need a symphony of corpoRATe regulation to force the thieving corpoRATeers to face the music!

Want more proof? The queen of corpoRATe pay excess and duchess of golden parachutes is all against ANY RESTRICTIONS ON corpoRATe pay excesses. This from cnnpolitics:

Commentary: Government shouldn’t decide executive pay

By Carly Fiorina
Special to CNN

(CNN) — Americans are outraged over excessive CEO pay and perks. That outrage is justified, particularly when American taxpayers are footing the bill.

Our capitalist system works best when there is transparency and accountability. There has been too little of both on Wall Street.

Inevitably, the president and Congress are now attempting to respond to taxpayer anger and restore some “common sense,” as President Obama recently declared, to CEO compensation. The proposed solution caps top executive pay at $500,000 for institutions that have received bailout money.

I don’t think this is the answer, although it is an understandable reaction. It’s arbitrary: Why not $400,000 or $600,000? It’s incomplete. It only applies to institutions that will receive more government assistance going forward. And it doesn’t strengthen our economy when government decides how much each job is worth. In America we leave that job to markets.

I’ll answer the ethically challenged little ms. corpoRATe excesses little missive! I say cap the exec pay on ALL PUBLICLY TRADED COMPANIES! Hey narly, if you know so much. Why’d ya get fired from hp huh? Since then you’ve been involved with a failed election bid. Your star has gone out in the corpoRATe universe!

What would a ClapSorific™ corpoRATe pay cap look like? The following would be included in legislation we at ClapSotronics would like to see passed by the feckless appaRATchiks in washingtOOn and signed into law by obamessiah, but we ain’t holding our breath!

PLEASE TAKE NOTE THAT THESE RULES WOULD ONLY BE ENFORCED ON ALL PUBLICLY TRADED COMPANIES. Privately held companies would be exempt from these rules. Let the corpoRATe bastards gamble with their own money if they wish. But once they are publicly traded companies (whether they get bailouts or not!) the following would apply:

  1. executive pay will be capped at 20 times the median pay of the hourly employees of  the publicly traded company. If the pig corpoRATeer execs want a raise, they have to give everyone else at the company a raise too!
  2. all directors of  publicly traded companies must immediately divest  themselves of all stock in publicity traded companies. We need professional management concerned with building companies in a sensible manner, not gamblers intent on raping the company via stock options and golden parachutes.
  3. All benefits given to corpoRATe execs at publicly traded companies must be given to ALL COMPANY EMPLOYEES EQUALLY. For example, no more gold plated health care benefits for directors, while the hourly employees get shafted with lousy coverage, if any coverage at all.
  4. “outsourcing” to privately held or other companies (here or abroad) not under jurisdiction of these rules will be illegal.
  5. all penalties, and they must be MAJOR IN THESE RULES, will be paid from THE PERSONAL ACCOUNTS of the directors. No longer can the pig corpoRATeers use company money to pay fines for their bad decisions!

This little plan of mine will give corpoRATe execs incentive  to build companies that produce good paying jobs with benefits, as opposed to low wage thieving corpoRATe shit houses like walmart. This will raise the stagnant American standard of living and increase economic demand from real wage based spending in order to replace the phony credit card demand our economy suffers with presently. The idiotic “supply side” economics of the past has FAILED! It’s time to move to demand side economics, and the BEST WAY TO INCREASE DEMAND IS TO INCREASE WAGES!

DAGNABIT! If the thieving corpoRATeers don’t like it, let them buy ALL THE COMPANY STOCK AND TAKE THE COMPANY PRIVATE! Then they can gamble to their hearts content with their own money, instead of with stock holder’s money! Wanna bet they would be far more careful?

What are we getting from washingtOOn instead? The latest is this quote from reuters:

Sen. Christopher Dodd, chairman of the Senate Banking Committee, said on Wednesday evening that it might be possible to modify mark-to-market accounting rules for U.S. banks facing steep write-downs of troubled assets without abandoning the underlying accounting standard.

Methinks senator clodd and others in washingtOOn are up to no good, even more so then usual! “Mark-to-market accounting rules” require companies to value their “troubled” and other assets by what the buyers in the market will PAY FOR THEM. That seems fair to me. If shares of consolidated lint are selling on the pig board exchange for five cents a share, that’s what each share is really worth on the market. What price will replace that if senator clod has his way? My guess is any price the holder of the asset decides. Wanna bet “troubled assets” like my joking example consolidated lint are suddenly worth $5000 a share? It seems senator clod may be considering bringing back the good old days of enron accounting principles and allowing the corpoRATeers to do so with no penalty! Ya need to come up with a better plan then allowing your corpoRATe masters to lie about the value of their “troubled assets” senator clodd!

In the mean time, we continue to call for:


The Telepathic Crickets™ on the ClapSotronics editorial board and I hope you understand that higher wages for all of us, instead of higher wages for the pig corpoRATeers, is what’s best!

The scientifically impossible I do right away

The spiritually miraculous takes a bit longer

~ by ClapSo on February 6, 2009.

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