On the Pleasures of the Morbid Flesh… ClapSoCuisine™ #3

Screw vegetarians . . . let’s eat meat!

Here’s a suggestion for real hope, change and responsibility:

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

ClapSotronics Official Motto:

Alright, alright, I know, I know! We don’t like to be reminded we eat dead things. It’s personally upsetting for me that carrots scream as they’re pulled out of the ground by their green hair. The fact that brussels sprouts mate for life and form extended families hints at a certain social sentience which can’t be denied. However, eat we must…

I was once asked if I knew a good tofu recipe. I was taken aback! After all, tofu is a flavorless gelatinous mass that is claimed to be good for you. I don’t often delve into such fetishes myself, just too kinky! However I replied: Feed the tofu to a cow, kill the cow and eat the steak . . . now we cookin’ tofu…

A special shout out to the best little butcher shop in NYC O. Ottomanelli & Sons of Greenwich Village In my over two decades as a professional chef, and even since I retired, I have never found better butchers then those guys! I wish I could move em up here to Utica, NY. I miss em!

My old boss, and the best chef I ever worked with: Joel P. Wolfe Always swore by Ottomanelli’s and all the meats we served at Joel’s Restaurant Lisanne were purchased there…

All the following cooked, photographed, and eaten by ClapSo . . .

Now on to the meat! How to pay yourself instead of paying the corpoRATe stupermarket weasels!

Pictured are 5LBS of dead pig @$2.69LB and 7-1/2LBS of dead cow @2.99LB.

Total cost $36.00

I will now break down these cheaper roasts to more expensive cuts.

Here’s the result of my half hour of work on the roasts in my last pic. The roasts cost me $36.00

I now have:

7-1/2LBS of stew beef at a stupermarket price of $7 a pound that’s now worth $52

4LBS of boneless pork chops at a stupermarket price of $6 a pound that’s now worth $24

1LB of stew pork at a stupermarket price of $5 a pound that’s now worth $5

Total worth of $81 at stupermarket price.

Minus $36 equals $45. That’s my profit. Since it only took me a half hour, I’ll double it, so I just payed myself $90 per hour…

What to make with all that? These are some of the dishes I’ve made so far and I still have plenty of meat in the freezer.

In praise of the ground cow!

Special ClapSorific™ BONUS QUIP: When cooking vegan never exceed medium-rare, because overcooked vegan is flavorless and stringy…

The Telepathic Crickets™ on the ClapSotronics editorial board and I hope you enjoyed this latest installment of our regular weekly feature: ClapSoCuisine™ Come back to the lab each and every Wednesday to see what ClapSo has on the slab…

CLICK HERE to read more of ClapSo’s insane rants

CLICK HERE for important ClapSotronics public service announcements including our popular polls!

The face book is censored and zuckerschmuck supports NSA spying.

The twitter is dominated by stock photo type corpoRATe journalistas and celebutants. Try minds for a change…

Click here to join ClapSo on Minds

It’s high time the winter of our discontent
Become the not so silent spring of ACTION!

~ by ClapSo on December 14, 2016.

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